Surviving Long Distance

Pinterest is one of my favorite places, certainly.  For someone like me, who loves to bake and craft and frequently needs to surf endless funny pictures on my phone in order to fall asleep, Pinterest can be such an interesting place of discovery.  And it is a great place for bloggers.  You can link your articles there, and with the right keywords, people from across the world may find themselves in your writings.

But sometimes Pinterest (and bloggers) get it wrong.

Stuff about long-distance relationships always comes up on targeted pages for me.  It's not a surprise, I've been in an LDR for about 3-1/2 years now, and I read, write, and talk about it a lot.  People blog about LDR a lot, which isn't surprising.  In the world we live in, where technology connects every corner, where the job market is what you make of it, where finances control so many decisions, a vast number of couples find themselves separated by distance for a least a little while.  And what most bloggers want you to believe is that there is some kind of recipe for surviving being apart, because that is what readers are looking for.  Couples who suddenly end up launched into the crazy mess of "how do we behave apart?" are looking for answers and methodologies and testimonials that show you exactly how to survive.

That's crap.

All of those articles are basically going to tell you the same things - don't rely on texting, Skype x number of times per month, include each other in decisions, be 100% honest, countdown to the next time you'll see each other, etc., etc.  None of these posts understand individuality, though.  None of them will tell you how awkward timezone transitions play in, how having a job that isn't M-F 9-5 can totally mess with together time, and how sometimes you just won't have a clue when you will be together again.

I haven't had a phone call from my other half in over a month.  We haven't Skyped since 2012.  I haven't seen him in about 18 months, and I couldn't even hazard a guess as to when I will see him again.  Sometimes we've both told white lies and had to apologize for them.  Sometimes we've had misunderstandings and screaming matches and angry silences and had to fight our way back from them.  Even with all that, though, we are still 3-1/2 years strong and committed to staying strong. And therein lies the secret.  The only thing that will get you through a long-distance relationship is wanting to.  It doesn't matter how "good" you are together or what your work/financial life is like or which timezones you inhabit.  If you are both committed and connected and try to be there for the other person as best you can, you will make it through to the other side.  You will be battered and bruised, yes, but you will be tougher as well.

Stay strong, all you long-distance lovers.

Quilt Designing

Like most females my age, I have an addiction to Pinterest. While I think Pinterest is fantastic with its sea salt body scrub recipes and fastest way to fit abs workout routines, one of the drawbacks of Pinterest is that your pins don't necessarily go anywhere.  This is especially true of my favorite Pinterest subject, quilting. I pin quilts because I love the picture – whether it's the colors, the pattern, or the textures that draw me in – without regard to where that picture leads. 

A couple months back, I spent an afternoon searching through my quilting board, looking for just the right pattern for a childhood friend's wedding gift. I finally found what I wanted in this Flickr picture:

photo credit

Unfortunately, that's all it was, just a photo with no link to a pattern, credit to a designer, description, or even a size.  That left me with few options, now that I was feeling like this had to be the quilt for them.

I decided to design my own pattern for a quilt inspired by the picture.  There are many upsides to making your own patterns, one being that you get the size you're looking for (my best guess would be that the quilt in the picture is twin- or full- sized, and I wanted a queen-sized).  Pattern making in quilting is easier than you might think, especially for a quilt that contains only basic shapes, in this case squares and half-square triangles.

These two items are my quilt designing must-haves: graph paper (any size you choose) and a fabric calculator.  Graph paper is essential.  At the heart, almost every single quilt is based on a series of squares and rectangles manipulated and arranged into beauty, and the graph paper helps get all those shapes into proportion without hours staring at a ruler.  I always have my FabriCalc with me during designing sessions, purely because it's faster to calculate yardage than using a pencil and regular calculator.  I highly suggest buying a fabric calculator only during sales, at a JoAnn/Michaels – my mom and I did so on Black Friday and got ours 50% off.

Other items you'll want to have handy:

• pencil (I think mechanical work best) with an eraser that won't smear
• colored pencils
• a pen to help differentiate between different areas where colors are similar
• scratch paper to write down yardages, do math, or whatever else you might need

With only those supplies and a short amount of time, you can have the pattern you want!  I finished my pattern in less than an hour – it probably wouldn't have taken that long, but I rearranged the stars a half-dozen times or so.

The final product

I will post pictures of the finished quilt in about two weeks, after my friend's wedding.  Right now, it is complete except for the binding, and I am very proud of it.  Here's hoping the happy couple loves it!

Leave any questions about my pattern making process in the comment section, and I'll be happy to answer them!

A Lesson in Patience

About two weeks ago, I packed up and took off to Montana for a week.  My best friend J was getting married, and there was obviously NOTHING that would stop me from being there.

I had prepared myself for the the emotions that were going to come with it.  You see, J's husband is in the Air Force, currently stationed in England, so a lot was about to happen.  In just a few short days, I got to see J again, met her husband for the first time, did everything in my power to help take some of the wedding chaos off her shoulders, put up with some of the more...colorful...guests, spent many many hours alone in the car with another of my close friends, and said goodbye to J before she jets off to her new home outside of London with a question mark where her return date goes.

And yet, weirdly, one of the most painful things to happen that week was a picture message from my mom.

About ten years ago, my dad and I built a nearly 200 sq ft flower bed for my mom, and ever since, she (with, okay, minimal help from me) has been turning it into a perennial garden, which means we spend the spring and summer waiting for everything we've already planted to pop up and bloom again.

I wait for the tulips and the lillies.  Those are "my" flowers.  This year has been a strangely soggy one for us here in Minnesota, and under the average temp too, so the growing season has been delayed.  My lillies still had not bloomed. And then a day after I arrived in Montana, they did. 

This has been a recurring theme for me, this feeling of missing out, of feeling the world's time slipping out of sync with my plan. It's a disaster. Despite my best efforts, at heart I am still a control freak. Losing my place feels like heartbreak – and getting back on track takes more than just hopping on one foot until the hitch in my ankle cures itself.

I cried about it, I did. Not just about the flowers, but about life and angst and feeling lost.  Then I got back on my feet, wiped my face, and moved on – talked to people, put together the wedding, danced the Cupid Shuffle and YMCA. Pretended I was on the right track. 

And when I got back home, I found this. 

The 52 Week Challenge Ends

This weekend has been awesome for me motivationally, because Friday was the end of the 52 Week Challenge.  After a week of hyper-emotions related to realizing it has been a year since my college graduation, getting to take the money out of my challenge box was just what I needed to feel like I'm making headway.

The Challenge is easy to start, but can be hard to stick to for one simple reason - once you get about halfway through, the amount of money going in your box (and out of your budget) every month gets pretty high, especially if you're not making a whole lot of money to start with.  My celebration on Friday when I went to the bank, though, was so worth it.  Not only am I now set for my best friend's wedding, but I added to my vacation fund AND got to write a check for six months of my student loan payments.  It is the best feeling to knock out so much debt in one fell swoop.

An Anniversary of Sorts

In less than a week, it will be one year since my college graduation. There's a part of my brain that doesn't accept this at all, insisting that twelve months have gone by in this flash of what feels like so much... Nothing. 

It seems like everything has happened to everyone else. My best friend is legally married (although the military means her wedding isn't until this summer). My other closest friend is working for AmeriCorps (I highly recommend) and has helped almost all of her students test out of needing her help. My brother and his girlfriend welcomed a stunning baby girl (and don't get me started on all the other people in my life popping out babies). Friends who don't even graduate college for another week have already accepted once-in-a-lifetime, following-my-passion jobs. 

It's hard to feel like you haven't gotten it right yet. Growing up, I was that girl that made all the right choices. When the girls in my class were out getting drunk, trying drugs, and getting pregnant, I was at home reading, studying, practicing, being bigger and better. 

It doesn't feel like it. Being back in my hometown, my tiny country town, means watching all these people I know make bad choices and still, magically, end up with all of the things I want but can't seem to get my finger on. 

And you know what? It's okay. 

Television, newspapers, bloggers, and more are slowly beginning to talk about post-college depression and how the current "real world" situation is making the transition difficult for grads. Everything from money and jobs to relationships and parents can make us feel like we're failing. 

But a lot of this we do to ourselves. We convince ourselves that where we are in the growth process isn't good enough or far enough. We tell ourselves we aren't doing enough, being enough, that we (or others) should be ashamed of what our life is right now. 

There's no shame in not finding a dream job the day after graduation. There's no shame in living with others while we sort out our finances. There's no shame in working for minimum wage. If we get up, day after day, and try – try something, anything that will make us grow, move us forward, or help us step up – even if we aren't striving for the things we planned on at 18, then we are succeeding. If you get an interview but don't get the job, you are doing better than some. If you live on Ramen while paying your loans, you have it better than some.

We cannot measure our daily lives by the big goals. We have to learn to measure  success by the daily achievements that get us infinitesimally closer to the big goals. Learn something about yourself, about work, about motivation, about others every day, and you'll get there. You will. Even if "there" changes by the time you arrive. 

CouponCabin App Review

If any proof of my less-than-hip lifestyle is needed, let it be this – I got my first smartphone about six weeks ago.

And with a brand-new iPhone comes the excitement of wading through the App Store. After downloading a game my friends got me hooked on in college and the Facebook app, my first addition was the app CouponCabin.

I was looking for an app that would help me save money on groceries and every day things, not just one that would get me a coupon code for Macy's or Sears. I searched blogs for app reviews to point me in the right direction, but the ones I found weren't very helpful. I went with CouponCabin because it has a dedicated "grocery coupon" category. 

Well, it may have a dedicated category for grocery coupon category, but that didn't mean it was simple. I ran into a long process with several problems:

1. To open the coupons, you have to email them to yourself. 

2. From the email, you have to follow a link to a website. 

3. Following the link does not take you directly to that specific coupon. You are taken to a general website where you have to search for the coupon you want. 

4. After finding the coupon, you have to print it, but printing requires you to download a driver (after following so many links through places I was entirely familiar, for computer and personal safety, I did not download the driver or try to print any coupons). 

Apart from the grocery coupons, I did have success using the "in-store coupons" at Jo-Ann Fabric, but it wasn't complete success.  When you search for coupons using CouponCabin, you end up with a page like this

Notice how they have the expiration date conveniently listed? Take it from me, they aren't always accurate. I opened one coupon for Jo-Anne that was supposed to be valid until December but actually expired in March, a week before I was going to use it. 

At the end of the day I wouldn't recommend CouponCabin – but I'm not going to delete it until I find something better. For now, I'll just search for in store coupons while I'm waiting in line for bigger purchases. 

If you have a coupon app you love, leave me a comment!

Challenge Check-In

So as I said earlier, I've been working my way through the 52 Week Challenge.  If you have already started the challenge, or if you're still mulling it over, I hope you let this little check-in serve as an inspiration, motivation, or whatever it is you need to take the next step with it.

I have to say, I really love the feeling of saving this way.  Typically, I "save" by depositing a portion of my check directly into my savings account, and I never see the money, which is probably what the majority of people do.  We are not the generation of hiding money under the mattress or burying it in cans in the backyard, but for the Challenge, my "challenge buddy" Ellie and I both decided to keep the money in secret places in our homes - there is something so satisfying about being able to pull out that wad of cash and count it!

I am just past the 40-week mark, and that's stretching my budget tight.  Through a series of unfortunate events, I'm still working part-time at minimum-wage.  The chunk of my check the Challenge takes up can be daunting, especially when I am staring down needing to replace my laptop, get new tires on my car, and just subsist.  At just about three months to go, I'm finding inspiration in what the Challenge will accomplish for me.

When I'm done, I'm breaking my $1,378 into three equal parts:

1. $459.33 to pay for being in, traveling to, and gifts for my best friend's wedding this summer (with coupons, sales, and ride-sharing, this should pretty much cover everything I need for the wedding).
2. $459.33 into my "love fund" for the next time my long-distance guy and I are in the same zip code (more than enough to cover a hotel).
3. $459.33 to use as a bonus loan payment, which will get me about six months ahead on one of my loans (because I'll use it as a lump sum rather than breaking it up among my loans).

Just stick with it!  The Challenge is going to take so many burdens off my mind, and I hope it does the same for you.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle DIY Notepads

If you read my first blog post nearly a year ago, you know that I have an obsession with notepads.  I also have a Pinterest-aided craze for DIY and crafting (within reason - I know my limits, however I do have quite a bit of experience with power tools, so my limits are typically a bit higher than most).  I've only tried three or four Pinterest things thus far because, well, there are a lot of other things to get done, but this is one I'm obsessed with.

Make your own notepads.
(You can find the pin here)

Now the original pin uses scrapbooking paper to make pretty notepads, but that's not what I'm talking about.  I use paper that has already been printed on one side - whether it's old assignment sheets, directions, junk mail, anything.  To get the sheet of paper down to size, I fold and tear it into six pieces.

If you really need your notepads to be perfect, you can use a paper cutter.

I find the eyeballing and tearing method works just fine.

After you get a good stack of the notepad-size papers torn, stack them up, making sure that the blank sides are all facing the same way.  I try to make sure that the factory edges of the shorter sides are all at the top, because it makes the gluing easier.

Next, grab two binder clips and separate out enough paper to pretty much fill the clips.  This will be one notepad, so the thicker you want your notepad, the bigger size binder clips you need.

Place the binder clips on either side of the papers close to the top.  It's important to use the binder clips or another kind of clasp to hold them together, or the glue will seep down and the papers won't attach to each other well.

This is my setup for applying the glue.  It's actually called "notepad padding compound," and it's available on Amazon and Etsy and Ebay.  The bottle here is the first one I've purchased and pretty small, but a little goes a long way.  I just use a cheap little paintbrush, but there are fancy bookbinding brushes you can by.

All you have to do is brush a thin layer of the padding compound across the side you want to hold the papers together.  I always do the short side because the binder clips hold better that way, but it's up to you!

I use a third binder clip to rest the notepad on while the padding compound dries, so that it doesn't stick to the paper towel.  I generally put on two coats of compound, and it dries within a couple minutes.  I like to wait until you have a lot of paper to work with and can make several notepads at once and keep them on hand.

Once the padding compound dries thoroughly (I always give it a good hour to dry after the final coat, just to make sure it sets up really well) you have an upcycled notepad with tear off pages!  This size is great for grocery lists, long or constantly growing to-do lists, or even leaving notes for roommates and family members.  There's also the added benefit of getting the most out of that piece of paper and not having to buy paper products just for lists!

What are your favorite green craft projects?  Leave me a comment and maybe I'll try them out!

Waffle Baby Afghan

This Waffle Baby Afghan is something I adapted to fit what yarn I had in my stash.  The yarn is Bernat Softee Baby in "Prettiest Pink" and "Princess Pebbbles", which my mom picked up on clearance for only $1.49 a skein.  Of course, because it was on clearance, there were only two skeins of each color, which was a little less than I needed, but adapt and overcome!

My Waffle Baby Afghan is based on the Weekend Waffle Blanket Kit available from Herrschners.  If you've never looked through a Herrschners catalog or the website before, I suggest you lock up your credit card before you do, but that's a whole different matter :)  

Herrschners kit options

My mom originally purchased this kit in the yellow/blue/green variegated yarn.  I modified the pattern slightly - the pattern only calls for one color yarn, but I alternated between my pink solid and pink/gray/white variegated.  I changed yarns every ten rows in this example, although the first section had to be eleven rows because of the foundation row.

This waffle pattern, like the Basketweave I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, has a great texture that comes from a combination of stitching in the loop and stitching around the front post.

Lately it seems like my favorite crochet projects are the ones that come with texture and depth.  If you have a favorite textured pattern, leave me a comment!

"Bones" Season 9, Episode 13

SPOILERS

Oh, Bones.  As soon as they started questioning Wendell's broken arm last night, I got a bad bad feeling about poor Wendell.  Wendell is probably my favorite intern in the entire series, so last night's episode was just heartbreaking, as it was meant to be.

I truly applaud the writers for last night's episode.  So often in TV and books, writers try to play "Gotcha!" with twists and surprises and reversals, and frankly, it gets a bit old.  Wendell's diagnosis wasn't that way, but it also wasn't canned or predictable.  It felt the same way I imagine cancer would feel in the real world - a shocking stun, but something that you know unfortunately happens.

The writers also worked their magic on Wendell's character.  His decision to stay and fight the cancer, understanding better than most people exactly what was involved, surprised me.  When he started talking about taking off, ticking off his bucket list, living every second without the haze of treatment, I thought that would be the end.

And I wouldn't have blamed him.

I have been very blessed in my life that cancer hasn't touched me very closely, at least not while I was old enough to remember and understand.  But about a month ago, I lost a family friend to liver cancer.  She had fought for three years, through chemo that caused her to lose her hearing and take up residence in a nursing home.  She was lucky to survive those extra three years, even getting a chance to meet her first grandchild shortly before her death, but at what cost?  Unable to hear, to care for herself, to get out of bed by herself, she suffered, and still the cancer claimed her.  It's a difficult choice, with seemingly no right answer.

Bones, the writers, and the actors all portrayed that beautifully.

Bravo.

Things I Don't Know

I'll be the first to admit, I'm not a genius.

That said, I wouldn't consider myself a schmuck either.  I went to a liberal arts college, I've read Moliere and Joseph Conrad and Eve Ensler, and I took physics as an elective.

But over the past few years, I've realized there are things I absolutely don't know, and the kicker is, they're all simple things.  The kinds of things that are so commonplace people actually don't talk about them.  The kinds of things four-year-olds ask you about in the car.  And, whether I'm just forgetful or the least inquisitive child that ever existed, I don't them.  Things like:

1. How does a landline phone work - and why does it still work when the power goes out?
2. How are animal eggs fertilized? (Yes, I live on a farm and no, I really don't know how this works - no one ever said I learned much in biology.)
3. What is the actual purpose of a water tower?

To me, it's sad.  I should know these things, right?  But I know it's not just me.  The thing about landlines and power outages came up in class one day my senior year, and no one knew the answer.  It's just a thing we all take for granted.  

Where is curiosity?  Is this part of growing up - or is this just me?

Basketweave Afghan

I have done so much crafting that I haven't blogged about!

With the start of 2014, I'm trying to recommit myself to keeping up with my blogging, so what better way than to look back on the projects that have kept me busy throughout the summer and fall of 2013?

With that said, I'm going to start with my Basketweave Afghan.

This pattern comes from the book Crocheted Afghans by Carol Cook Hagood.  The book I used belongs to my mother, and was published in the late 1980s, but you can still find it on Etsy and Ebay.  The Basketweave is actually the second afghan I've done from this book; the first one was a lap afghan about five years ago.

The pattern calls for fringe, which I omitted.

I love the Basketweave pattern, and it really is simple.  As long as you are familiar with the basic crochet stitches (single through double-triple), you can succeed at this pattern.

The pattern only uses two stitches, double and double-triple.

The texture of this pattern comes from working select stitches around the front post of the rows below it, rather than in the loop.

A great pattern, and so simple!  What do you think?  What's your current project?  Leave me a comment or some pictures.

New Year, New Chances - Giving with Goals

New Year's Resolutions get such a bad rap.  I mean, you can't really blame them, with how quickly they fall by the wayside.  I personally don't like the word "resolution."  I prefer goals.

There are some secrets to the art of goal-making and goal-keeping.  When it comes to goal-making, keep in mind that it isn't just a year in broad terms.  What do you want to accomplish this week?  This month?  What about today?  A combination of short-term and long-term goals keeps you from becoming overwhelmed.  Don't just think about how you want your life to be different at this time next year, think about what you need to change now to improve your life and your attitude.

Goal-keeping.  It's cliche, but write them down, and put the list somewhere you will see it (posting it on a shelf in the linen closet isn't going to cut it).  If you have a love of Pinterest like I do, create a Vision Board and pin pictures that represent your goals.  Move the board to the top of your profile page, and you'll see it every time you look for a pin.  And if you do have some long-term goals, break them down into smaller chunks.  If you want to save $500 for a new gadget by the end of the year, remind yourself how much you have to save by the end of each month and you'll be more likely to succeed without pulling your hair out or living on Ramen from October on.

But don't just think about yourself.

This time of goals and renewals is the perfect time to move out of the self-absorbed shells we all seem to carry around these days.  Make a commitment to yourself to do something better, to give back for your blessings (and if you have a computer to read this, I know you are blessed).  Is there a charity that tugs at your heart?  Make a goal to give to them in some way, whether it is with money or your time or something else entirely.  Are there people in your life you could use friendship and support?  Set your heart on taking time out to bless them with your presence, digital or in-person (put an emphasis on in-person).

My 2014 Goal #1 is to donate blood more frequently.  Giving blood is so easy.  If you've never done it, I really suggest you try it at least once.  It's not as scary as you might think, and it doesn't take long at all.  It takes no money, and it saves lives.  It doesn't get much better than that.  Start here to find out more.

Give of yourself.  You'll feel better about yourself, and that we keep you on track with your goals.