A Lesson in Patience

About two weeks ago, I packed up and took off to Montana for a week.  My best friend J was getting married, and there was obviously NOTHING that would stop me from being there.

I had prepared myself for the the emotions that were going to come with it.  You see, J's husband is in the Air Force, currently stationed in England, so a lot was about to happen.  In just a few short days, I got to see J again, met her husband for the first time, did everything in my power to help take some of the wedding chaos off her shoulders, put up with some of the more...colorful...guests, spent many many hours alone in the car with another of my close friends, and said goodbye to J before she jets off to her new home outside of London with a question mark where her return date goes.

And yet, weirdly, one of the most painful things to happen that week was a picture message from my mom.

About ten years ago, my dad and I built a nearly 200 sq ft flower bed for my mom, and ever since, she (with, okay, minimal help from me) has been turning it into a perennial garden, which means we spend the spring and summer waiting for everything we've already planted to pop up and bloom again.

I wait for the tulips and the lillies.  Those are "my" flowers.  This year has been a strangely soggy one for us here in Minnesota, and under the average temp too, so the growing season has been delayed.  My lillies still had not bloomed. And then a day after I arrived in Montana, they did. 

This has been a recurring theme for me, this feeling of missing out, of feeling the world's time slipping out of sync with my plan. It's a disaster. Despite my best efforts, at heart I am still a control freak. Losing my place feels like heartbreak – and getting back on track takes more than just hopping on one foot until the hitch in my ankle cures itself.

I cried about it, I did. Not just about the flowers, but about life and angst and feeling lost.  Then I got back on my feet, wiped my face, and moved on – talked to people, put together the wedding, danced the Cupid Shuffle and YMCA. Pretended I was on the right track. 

And when I got back home, I found this. 

The 52 Week Challenge Ends

This weekend has been awesome for me motivationally, because Friday was the end of the 52 Week Challenge.  After a week of hyper-emotions related to realizing it has been a year since my college graduation, getting to take the money out of my challenge box was just what I needed to feel like I'm making headway.

The Challenge is easy to start, but can be hard to stick to for one simple reason - once you get about halfway through, the amount of money going in your box (and out of your budget) every month gets pretty high, especially if you're not making a whole lot of money to start with.  My celebration on Friday when I went to the bank, though, was so worth it.  Not only am I now set for my best friend's wedding, but I added to my vacation fund AND got to write a check for six months of my student loan payments.  It is the best feeling to knock out so much debt in one fell swoop.

An Anniversary of Sorts

In less than a week, it will be one year since my college graduation. There's a part of my brain that doesn't accept this at all, insisting that twelve months have gone by in this flash of what feels like so much... Nothing. 

It seems like everything has happened to everyone else. My best friend is legally married (although the military means her wedding isn't until this summer). My other closest friend is working for AmeriCorps (I highly recommend) and has helped almost all of her students test out of needing her help. My brother and his girlfriend welcomed a stunning baby girl (and don't get me started on all the other people in my life popping out babies). Friends who don't even graduate college for another week have already accepted once-in-a-lifetime, following-my-passion jobs. 

It's hard to feel like you haven't gotten it right yet. Growing up, I was that girl that made all the right choices. When the girls in my class were out getting drunk, trying drugs, and getting pregnant, I was at home reading, studying, practicing, being bigger and better. 

It doesn't feel like it. Being back in my hometown, my tiny country town, means watching all these people I know make bad choices and still, magically, end up with all of the things I want but can't seem to get my finger on. 

And you know what? It's okay. 

Television, newspapers, bloggers, and more are slowly beginning to talk about post-college depression and how the current "real world" situation is making the transition difficult for grads. Everything from money and jobs to relationships and parents can make us feel like we're failing. 

But a lot of this we do to ourselves. We convince ourselves that where we are in the growth process isn't good enough or far enough. We tell ourselves we aren't doing enough, being enough, that we (or others) should be ashamed of what our life is right now. 

There's no shame in not finding a dream job the day after graduation. There's no shame in living with others while we sort out our finances. There's no shame in working for minimum wage. If we get up, day after day, and try – try something, anything that will make us grow, move us forward, or help us step up – even if we aren't striving for the things we planned on at 18, then we are succeeding. If you get an interview but don't get the job, you are doing better than some. If you live on Ramen while paying your loans, you have it better than some.

We cannot measure our daily lives by the big goals. We have to learn to measure  success by the daily achievements that get us infinitesimally closer to the big goals. Learn something about yourself, about work, about motivation, about others every day, and you'll get there. You will. Even if "there" changes by the time you arrive. 

CouponCabin App Review

If any proof of my less-than-hip lifestyle is needed, let it be this – I got my first smartphone about six weeks ago.

And with a brand-new iPhone comes the excitement of wading through the App Store. After downloading a game my friends got me hooked on in college and the Facebook app, my first addition was the app CouponCabin.

I was looking for an app that would help me save money on groceries and every day things, not just one that would get me a coupon code for Macy's or Sears. I searched blogs for app reviews to point me in the right direction, but the ones I found weren't very helpful. I went with CouponCabin because it has a dedicated "grocery coupon" category. 

Well, it may have a dedicated category for grocery coupon category, but that didn't mean it was simple. I ran into a long process with several problems:

1. To open the coupons, you have to email them to yourself. 

2. From the email, you have to follow a link to a website. 

3. Following the link does not take you directly to that specific coupon. You are taken to a general website where you have to search for the coupon you want. 

4. After finding the coupon, you have to print it, but printing requires you to download a driver (after following so many links through places I was entirely familiar, for computer and personal safety, I did not download the driver or try to print any coupons). 

Apart from the grocery coupons, I did have success using the "in-store coupons" at Jo-Ann Fabric, but it wasn't complete success.  When you search for coupons using CouponCabin, you end up with a page like this

Notice how they have the expiration date conveniently listed? Take it from me, they aren't always accurate. I opened one coupon for Jo-Anne that was supposed to be valid until December but actually expired in March, a week before I was going to use it. 

At the end of the day I wouldn't recommend CouponCabin – but I'm not going to delete it until I find something better. For now, I'll just search for in store coupons while I'm waiting in line for bigger purchases. 

If you have a coupon app you love, leave me a comment!