Student Loan Control

May graduates hit a trap.  And that trap is in the form of "your first loan payments are due RIGHT before Christmas."

So while we all take a moment to feel sorry for ourselves and freak out that there is absolutely no way we've been out of school for over six months already, I'm going to share something that will make you feel less like one of the poor people on the Titanic.

The point of the website I've shared (click the hyperlink, people, I made it easy) is largely to help you estimate how much your loan payments will be.  Yes, I know, your loan servicers are doing that for you, but hang with me for a second.

The bottom half of the loan calculator (which looks like this, for those who still haven't been convinced to click the link)

has a section where you can experiment with what will happen if you pay more than the minimum, whether it be once, once a year, or monthly.

Now most of us who are buried under student loans ($51k - I know what I'm talking about) feel like the minimum payments are a stretch, and the little extra we could maybe eke out every month isn't going to change much.  But read on and take heart!

One of my (many) loans has a calculated monthly payment of about $39, but the contract I signed mandates I pay at least $50 a month.  So, in essence, I am paying an extra $11 a month.  By adding that $11, I will pay off this particular loan 51 months early.  That's over four years of my life without payments, all for the cost of a restaurant pizza.

Gather up your loan info, click the link, and get yourself in control of your debt.  If one less night of half-price apps with your friends or one less bottle of wine a month can give you a few loan-less years, it's so worth it.  Calculate and recalculate until you find what's going to make an impact on your life!

Distance

I have a lot of perspective on distance.

I think of distance differently, having grown up in a rural area.  When I was growing up, there was no running down the street to play with a friend.  You didn't just run into town when you were craving some Milk Duds, and making sure there was milk for breakfast required strategic planning because you could drive for twenty miles and not necessarily pass a grocery store.  And all of this was fine, normal.  Moving to college was the first time I'd ever lived in town, and I was the girl who frequently forgot to close the blinds before changing and was confused by the monthly test of the tornado siren.

If you've ever been anywhere near Minnesota, you'll know that distance is measured in minutes, not miles.  The next town is fifteen minutes away, the nearest (insert store) is a half-hour drive, and every college student live (insert hours) away from home.  We think of distance in the time we'll take out of our day and weigh the destination versus the worth of our time.

But distance is so much bigger and smaller than that.

Junior year of college, I started a relationship with a man who lived twelve hours away.  College was the first time I'd ever really been separated from people I loved, but it always had a deadline.  "I'll see you over fall break/Christmas/Easter."  That's not the way long-distance romantic relationships work.  I went 21 months without seeing my guy, and I got plenty of near-misses and disappointments.

My best friend leaves the continent in six days, just three days before my birthday.  It's the second time she leaves North America in a year, but this time, no one knows when she'll be home.  London is a long way from Minnesota, not that she was close to me when she was at home in Montana.  I know we're both going to have days where we suck at staying in touch, when we don't have the energy to communicate, where it just seems so difficult to stay close so far.  I've felt it all before, but every time, it's new.

Every mile is a pound of effort.  My daily life would not be possible with out cell phones, texting, and Skype.  I struggle with emotions that some people have been blessed never to experience, and some days they make it nearly impossible to crawl out of bed.  But the moments - the hello moments, the I-missed-you moments, the finally-able-to-touch moments - they are sweeter than any emotion you've ever felt.  Saying goodbye makes saying hello twice as sweet.  Every mile is a confused blessing.

Good Reality TV?

I dated a guy in high school who knew he was smarter/more sophisticated/generally better than everyone else.  This attitude came up frequently with his parents, especially his mom, who *gasp* enjoyed reality TV shows.

I'll admit that I can be a bit of a reality TV junkie as well.  I avoid Big Brother and Survivor on principal, but it's the rare episode of The Biggest Loser that doesn't make me cry.  And home improvement shows (Property Brothers, Love It or List It, Design Star) - let's just say I'm going to have some very high expectations in the coming decade.

No one, and I mean NO ONE has ever really complimented reality TV on anything; it's a very warped version of "reality," they (generally) have little educational value, and as Jersey Shore taught us, they make superstars out of people who honestly just need to melt back into the primordial ooze and please don't reproduce any farther.

But is there such a thing as good reality TV?  I personally love finding new exercises on Biggest Loser, and those design shows make me drool, but there's more to it than that.  Lately, I've been watching a show called Surviving the Cut on Netflix.  The show is an exploration of the U.S. military's most rigorous training courses and follow classes of Special Forces wannabes as they get mentally and physically torn apart to prepare for the toughest jobs any of us regular humans can imagine.

So let's think about this: it's a series that shows selected, dramatic excerpts of a typical day in the lives of a specific group of people competing to win a coveted rank - reality TV in a nutshell.  And yet, somehow, it seems different.  Is it because the series comes from the Discovery Channel?  Is it because the participants are good, selfless people?  Or is it just that most of us wouldn't deign to call the U.S. military "useless entertainment"?

Your call.

Find, Apply, Repeat

For the last few weeks, I've been in "get it together" mode.  Which, as a recent grad, basically means trying to find a job that I can actually be excited about.  And one which, possibly, will mean that I can pay back my student loans AND eat more than Easy Mac for every meal (just kidding, I hate Easy Mac).  I should note that there is nothing painfully wrong with my current job; it's just that I'm currently only part time and minimum wage, so I'm feeling the pinch in more ways than one, and this isn't something I can picture building the rest of my life on.

So I'm in the cycle of applying for jobs, and there are a few things I will never understand.  Why do I have to fill out a full job history and include a resume?  How long do I wait before I assume you laughed reading my materials and threw them in the discard pile?  What exactly is the magic formula for filling out the "Salary Requirements"?  And why are you not required to give me a reason for saying no?

Yes, I started my Round I'm-Not-Even-Counting-Anymore search with finding my dream job - and I didn't get it.  Unfortunately, I discovered this information in the midst of a personal crisis and the day before my next application was due, an application for a very similar, very dream job-esqe position.

So the question isn't really "how do I keep doing the same process over and over" or "how do I make myself more appealing," it's "how do I not lose faith in myself when no one else seems to have it?"  I always thought there was a direct line between my dreams and me - work hard, stay honest, study a lot, be rewarded.  But somewhere between Summa Cum Laude At My Top Choice School and Everything I Really Want, I got derailed.  Maybe it's my fault for chasing a dream that got changed half-way through, or maybe it's just part of the process and all my fellow graduates who seem to have it together are just hanging out in the faux-green grass.

The only thing I know for sure is that I just need one chance.  Give me a chance, and you will find that the only thing I know how to give is all.